How Mark Says Ordinary Things In Extraordinary Ways

"What is that a picture of?"
"A baby dinosaur wreaking havoc on a small society."
(A dinosaur destroying a town.)

"I need to use the facilities."
(I have to pee.)

"Steph, I hope you don't mind if I mobilize."
(I'm going to someone else's room, Steph.)

The Ultimate Hand

(referring to Andrew's cards in Apples to Apples)

Andrew: Oh man, I have so many sexy men.
Mark: What?! Do you have Bruce Willis?!

It's a four letter word...

Karen: I want to test to see how dirty your mind is Mark.
It’s a four letter word…
Mark: SEX!
Karen: FOUR LETTERS MARK!
Mark: PENIS!
Christine: FOUR LETTERS!
Karen: I’m not done giving clues!
Mark: Oh! Oh! DICK! DICK!